“The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.”  — C.G. Jung

Choosing Your Therapist: Tips for getting the most out of your therapy.

SHOP AROUND.  Studies repeatedly show that the “active ingredient” in effective therapy is at least as much the quality of connection as it is any wise insights or perceptive interventions.  It’s important to find someone you’re comfortable with.  Don’t feel obligated to stick with the first person you see unless it feels like a good fit.

GET REFERRALS.  Like finding a good mechanic or dentist, word of mouth referral from someone you trust is still one of the best ways to get started.  If you don’t know anyone who’s had counseling experience, or you’re self-conscious about asking, pastoral staff can almost always put you in touch with possible counselors.  Online resources such as psychologytoday.com can also help you find qualified professional counselors based on your location and other preferences.

ASK QUESTIONS.  Don’t hesitate to ask about things that are important to you if they’ll help you figure out a good clinical fit.  It’s ok to ask a potential therapist about his or her education and credentials, about theoretical orientation (if that matters to you), and about what you can expect regarding his or her personal style.

BE CLEAR ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT.  If you need a high degree of structure, with weekly tasks and lots of direction, then say so.  If you work best with a more unstructured, open-ended approach, be clear about that too.  Most therapists are willing and able to adapt their clinical style to different client needs, but it’s helpful to talk about your expectations together.

TRUST YOUR GUT.  Like other important relationships, choosing an appropriate therapist is more intuitive than rational.  Assuming a basic level of professional training and competence, the deciding factor is often whether this person feels right for you.

GIVE IT SOME TIME.  While first impressions are significant, they rarely reveal the whole story.  Counseling is a relationship, and relationships take time.  It’s helpful to give yourself at least 2 or 3 sessions to get a better feel for who you’re working with.  To get the most out of therapy, it’s also important that you meet consistently.

NOTICE NON-VERBALS.  A warm handshake, a little bit of chit-chat, good eye contact, and attentiveness to your comfort level are all subtle cues about what you can expect in the future.  How does it feel to think about sitting with this person for 50 minutes every week?

OPEN UP AT YOUR OWN PACE.  Talking honestly about very personal things is at the heart of the therapeutic process, but you have a right to test the waters if you’re not sure, and move into greater depth as your relationship gets stronger.  Being frank is crucial; therapists are not mind-readers, and can only work with the truth that you bring to the table.